Andrew Tate, Brave Cowards, and Masculinity

I had never heard of Andrew Tate before a few weeks ago when someone told me he was the top influencer among teenage boys. I care greatly about young men and boys and how society shapes them, so I looked him up. It didn’t take me long to recognize a few familiar traits: arrogance, pride, and anger. (I have no idea as to his guilt or innocence regarding the charges he faces, so I do not address that in this post.)

Boys are looking for strong men to follow. Arrogance and pride have a way of forming a mask that looks like strength, and it can instill a feeling of confidence in many of those who see it. This I know because I wore that mask for a long time, I was indeed proud, and a lot of people were fooled into thinking I was strong and courageous. The boys who admire Tate and those like him are being misled. Prideful people can be brave, but they don’t have true courage. For that reason, they can never be fully trusted. The admiration of men like this is common and forgivable, and our boys clearly crave strong role models, but this is not the way.

For most of my life, I have lacked true courage. Even as a combat soldier decorated for valor, I didn’t have it. I didn’t even know what true courage was. Bravery is courage, I thought… But where did bravery, which many people mistake for courage, come from? How does someone without courage volunteer to be a Navy SEAL and seek out opportunities to fight? I used to think that pure and straightforward patriotism could drive a man to that, but this sort of thing is complicated as with all matters of the mind. For me, I was driven by fear. Most people do most things out of fear, anger, or pride - a place of darkness; I’ve learned that the best people, the people we should emulate, do things from some other place - a place of light. Tate “leads” from a dark place. 

Psychologist David Hawkins distinguished these two realms as Force and Power, I really like these terms and the way he defines them. Power comes from a higher place, above fear and anger and pride - power comes from true courage, acceptance, and inner peace. Hawkins puts it this way: "Power is the ability to accomplish a goal without resistance, while force is the use of power in the face of resistance." Force is always met with counterforce, but power begets power.

Tate is brave, you have to give him that. But his forcefulness and arrogance are clear signals of his cowardice (not to mention how he treats women). His view of himself and the world depends only on external factors - like feeling the need to drive $2m cars or describe one’s self as “the most famous person in the world”. Men like Tate - brave cowards - are bad leaders and negative role models. They can be effective only to a point, and they typically cause damage up to that point - beyond that, they become wholly ineffective and then begin to lash out just to try and hold their ground, which they will lose. Pride goeth before the fall, they say.

People filled with desire are only a small step away from shame. For these reasons, I have compassion for the Tates of the world, but the message needs to be heard that he’s not someone for boys to follow. He isn’t someone anyone should follow, even if you agree with much of what he says. 

I judge not his character but rather his worldview. The lens he uses to make sense of things is broken, and it leads him to broken conclusions and cancerous influence. Inside all of us is something awesome, and it can be unlocked by expanding our consciousness.

Andrew Tate aside, modern society is indeed facing a crisis with men and boys. And we need powerful, honorable male role models.

In their attempt to please their parents and teachers, boys will try to conform, and many of their guardians encourage conformity because it feels convenient - this is a tragedy, for conformity destroys the spirit, and our spirit is what allows us to be great. They cannot truly ever conform, anyway, for doing so is a fight against their very nature. Some people may appear to conform, but they will live with no spirit and they will die feeling empty and confused. Therefore, conforming to a socially-derived standard of masculinity, be it woke or unwoke, is irresponsible, and disrespectful, and will only produce more negative consequences, born from inauthenticity and unmet fears.

Masculinity is the embodiment of courage, resilience, and virtuous action in the face of adversity. It is the unwavering strength of character that enables me to confront my fears and challenges head-on, exhibiting bravery and fortitude in the pursuit of my goals, but also courage and reason. It is the hero who goes off to slay the dragon and returns home to marry the princess he chooses. True masculinity lies not only in physical prowess but also in the moral and emotional courage to do what is right, even when it is difficult or unpopular.

Masculinity encompasses finding the balance between recklessness and cowardice, demonstrating the wisdom to assess risks and act with measured bravery. It is the recognition that inner strength and self-discipline are vital in cultivating true masculinity.

To be a good man requires the embodiment of both the masculine and the feminine. The goodness - wholeness - comes from the integration of the physical, the intellectual, the emotional, and the spiritual. Boys want to be badasses, and this is the way. Seek it out. Look for men who are reasonable, not prideful; loving, not hateful. Look for men who are powerful, not forceful.

"He who does not show himself shines. He who does not assert himself stands out. He who does not boast gets recognized. He who does not brag excels."

-Lao Tzu